“Not drinking or eating certain things can be a major deal-breaker in relationships, especially since you’ll ideally be enjoying meals with your partner for the rest of your life.” Williamson el-Effendi also suggests being upfront about your restrictions, but for another reason.“You want to spend your time with someone who appreciates you for you,” she says.“It’s not a fair representation of who they are as a person,” she says, before offering one final text-related warning.“Steer clear of either providing selfies or asking for selfies before you meet up.” (Maybe send them an artistic shot of the guacamole from your girls’ night out instead?Tufvesson’s take is a little more conservative—she recommends waiting until at least the third date to check out your crush’s digs.“You’ve gone on two dates and now you’re looking to get more intimate,” she explains.Tufvesson and Lewis are on board with this strategy.
“I’ve never heard a guy wary of a woman who didn’t offer to split the bill on a first date, but I’ve definitely heard a guy complain about dating a woman who never once took out her wallet after some real time spent together.” To eliminate some of the guesswork after the first date, keep this rule in mind: “Whoever asks the person out should pay for the date,” Lewis says.
“Remember, you barely know this person,” Goldstein says, adding that excessive back-and-forth before a first date can lead to unrealistic expectations followed by a letdown once you meet in person.
Tufvesson and Lewis offer specific, date-by-date guidelines to further clarify this point.
“Don’t hide who you are for the sake of a good date—if you’re vegan, be vegan.” Although it’s totally common (and fun!
) to banter over text, experts say that over-communicating is not so great early on.