this is separate, but I want to address it for your sake in general).If I were in your shoes, I would say something along the lines of: “Hey listen…So in this first section, I wanted to walk through getting on how committed he really is in the first place.
I recently had the fortunate experience to find out this person was sleeping with someone else and the "we never talked about being exclusive" argument was throw at me.if that’s not what you want with me or in general, 100% in your mind, heart, body and soul… I don’t think it makes you a bad person, I wouldn’t hate you, I wouldn’t be mad at you.Life is complicated and the heart wants what the heart wants. “When I saw this, it just doesn’t line up with someone who wants to be 100% exclusive. “Life is to short to spend our time, energy and youth on something that isn’t spectacular. I’m fine with either and if you don’t want that, we can part ways as friends – sincerely, no hard feelings.So don’t worry about how much you like him, how strong your feelings are, or anything like that. Did they “see you” once a week for six months and suddenly declare their love? Potential boyfriends act like potential boyfriends. So give a guy 6-8 weeks to figure out his feelings, if necessary. Just evaluate your man on the effort he’s making for you. And if you don’t get the sense that the relationship is growing, the talk is brief and emotionless:“Hey Adam, it’s been fun getting to know you, but I get the sense that we’re not on the same page. when we talked a little while ago, you said we’re exclusive… ” (I would listen for if their answer is a clear “yes” or if it’s some vague, weird, wishy-washy response…in which case, I would interpret that as a not-yes and assume that you are definitely NOT exclusive and assume he is indeed acting accordingly…) If he says yes, I would go on to say: “OK, good, that’s what I thought. we live in a time where everyone can see everything that’s going on online with people.You’re just seeing what he’s doing online and that information is freely available to the world.Your motivations for checking up on this are worth looking at, though, because it gives me the feeling that either something inside you feels like you don’t quite trust this guy or that you don’t trust the relationship you’re in to have trust as a quality (and so you’re always checking and testing because you don’t have that trust to begin with…I am asking because I don’t know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, “Yes, you and I are exclusive…” or, better yet, “I want to be exclusive with you.” I’ll explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step with having an exclusive relationship with you…I also wouldn’t even classify this as snooping, per se. You didn’t somehow break into and read his emails or texts.